Don’t Worry, It Has a Happy Ending

February 15, 2017

We’d sing until our throats burst
raw and breaking,
with every fucking chorus
we’d sweat,
we’d breathe in each other’s exhaled curses
and every vaporized
word tasted like catharsis.

We’re still using this —
We’re still walking with our holy crutches
after breaking windows with our feet
and throwing bricks
into the street.

Yet
Even as we promised not to take any of this seriously
we killed everyone involved.

As the walls crumbled under our fingernails
and we danced through the conversations
we managed to lose ourselves in the disfiguring,
“we hurt, yes, but never others”
we console each other.
It’s ok.

It’s never okay.
It’s never fine.
It’s never us.
We say.

In the end we were just a pile of ruptured concrete
under a parking lot
for a Costco.
Our lies married our dreams
under the floor
of the frozen food
aisle.


Directions Unclear

January 20, 2017

There’s no such thing as certainty
In this life of dreams.
I am shadow of shadow
Infinite reflection reflected.
An abstract of an abstract.
Concept indeterminate.
Syntax error.


Cohabitation

January 19, 2017

We share this home –
this vessel of blood and bones.
Mingle with me
and divide my cells.
Mitosis. Meiosis, Metastasis.
Inch across my abdomen.
Terrify my family,
and eat me from inside.
Wrinkle my skin and hollow my cheeks.
You breathe when I breathe.
Eat when I eat.
Divide. Divide, repeat.

intercellular-bridging


We Spend Our Time, Leaving it Behind

January 15, 2017

“I must think of it constantly in order to take care not to think of it. In this connection it must be understood not only that I must of necessity perpetually carry within me what I wish to flee but also that I must aim at the object of my flight in order to flee it… Thus anguish, properly speaking, can be neither hidden nor avoided.”

From Being and Nothingness by Jean Paul Sartre translated by Hazel E. Barnes

We are a potential energy
dancing between poles,
We are a dammed river
raging.

We are that little god inside me
forced to possess my freedom,
We are a simple question
waiting.

We are a always facing one other
and are never speaking,
We are pressing need
aching.

We are love and we are also not
so I keep on dreaming,
We are always sleeping —
being.


Life Is Terrifying but We Don’t Know Any Better

January 13, 2017

I am circumspect –
it’s not the first time it’s happened
since I left your bed,
and it’s been a long ten years
since I left it.

I can handle this –
picking up my pieces every once in a while,
but this is getting
out of
hand.

We don’t have to be alone.
We don’t have to be together.
We don’t have to be alone.
Because we don’t have to be anything.

This is all it takes –
one smile one kiss and I just release
then watch myself dissolve,
into
nothing.

I’ll get over it –
I repeat to myself religiously,
before I take another
drink
and another.

We don’t have to get along.
We don’t have to play the part.
We don’t have move on.
Because we don’t have to do anything.

It takes everything we have —
Everything we have
To choose.


On the Lips a Whisper 

December 2, 2016

You may have yet to find
The words by which you’ll be remembered most,
You may have yet to refine
The voice in which you say them,

But you are not, on the lips, a whisper
for those hearts by which you’re known,
Where in deep resounding timbre
You are a fully voiced song.


Heart Full of Bees

November 29, 2016

Its easy to romanticize bees,
When they dance
Instead of speak,

Its easy to romanticize bees,
As they obey their
Queen’s every whim,

Its easy to romanticize bees,
Atop their mountain
Flowers,

Its easy to romanticize bees,
Because
Your heart is full of them.