Be Alive First

We’re all going to die.
but the terrifying part
is that we’ve all gotta
be alive
first.

Aren’t You Curious?

Aren’t you curious
what museum our shiny bones will inhabit?
And how the future will
get our details wrong?
When they piece together our
fashions, weaponry, and
kitchen utensils.
Describing us, behind
the glass, to 14 year olds
who couldn’t care less.
Where will my job
at Pizza Hut figure into the diorama?
Who will make their Pizzas?

Front and Back of Life

On my bus there bloomed, before me, the front and back of life. Both beautiful and natural; the front was an extremely beautiful, young woman – wide awake and facing the day.  She was texting people, playing with her phone, and listening to music.  Yet, for long moments she would stare across the aisle at a sleeping old woman.  The elder was equally beautiful in her nature if not quite as nubile as the youth.  The elder, plastic rain-cap on her head, was sleeping in what must have been an uncomfortable position with her neck bent forward at a sharp angle.  She was most likely out to go shopping, as she had a grocery bag, and was not trying to hurry any more than she was trying to be social.  She didn’t feel the need to be impressive. She eventually woke up and let out a bronchial cough; for a moment both her and the youth were cognizant of each other’s existence.  Past reckons future.  Front meets back.  I couldn’t help but wonder what went through their minds in that brief flash of humanity. 

You Are Changing

The future is here and you are not what you thought you’d be.  Because “man never is, always is-to-be,” we are a rushing stream, the depths of our valley is our legacy.

Everything Matters

Let’s pretend we live in a world where everything matters,
and everyone is somewhere along they way to their “greatness,”
somewhere between the beginning and the end of their quest for meaning
and the quest results are real.
There is an ending worth working for.
The things they say do matter,
but the things they do matter most of all.
Achievements are collected,
deeds, habits, thoughts and such,
and they’re on their way!

All of a sudden its a race.
Each person is busily working on their particular to-do-list,
ignoring each other to the best of their ability.
The only interactions are now bitter,
people become hindrances, rather than friends
targets and objectives rather than family.

The Holy Assigner of Missions is watching; the only opinon to mind:
the Great Grader of Assignments’.
‘What others think of me will not matter when I complete the
goal that is set before me!’ they think.
‘I am his most illustrious completer
of tasks, surely I am in a better place than they.
I will be honored, revered for my tenacity in Tedium
and for my mastery of Menial!’

And still, one who dies
stays in his grave.
With some imaginary debt
left sorely unpaid.

To no one’s disappointment.

Hung Up On the Fridge

Bored with every second hoping something changes
and dreaming so big that it doesn’t fit in.
The ringing in your ears is always your fault
that shouting that you hear can all be drowned out.

So people cut it out, cut it off and destroy it
hoping all along what they kill is you, but
stomping on your heart like nothing really matters
and pulling out your hair you decide you’ve had it:

People tell you to save ’til you think you’ve earned it
keep your torments in ’til you feel you deserve them
don’t waste a second being someone who is worthless
if do your damn job then someone will reward it.

What ever happend to those pictures you painted
and hung up on the fridge just because you made them?

Well, there’s nothing like a mountain standing in your way
to make you feel small enough to appreciate
every single second that you aren’t in the plains
and all those wooden bridges that you left in flames.

Here’s another sad story, another broken heart
another tragic ending right from the start:
You never learned a thing while you were in school
you always acted out lashing out at the rules.

But there in is a lesson that you’ve yet to learn:
There will always be something important on a page you’ve yet to turn.
And some soggy sunday will be your last
Did you die in your sleep? Or just stop existing.

You can hope it doesn’t happen you can hope you’re good
enough to fix the problems you have hidden in your blood,
but no one is immortal, no one will survive
the ending is eternal, but so are all the lies.

A Little More On Time

I might break your heart,
Or you might break mine,
Or maybe we’ll lose that spark,
To the immensity of time.

I love you now,
That’s all I have to offer,
Time is electric we can use it to glow,
In this moment, together.

Seeds In the Sand of the Long Lonely Night

where there’s sand there’s glass,
where there’s seeds there’s plants,
where there’s will there’s ways,
where there’s nights there’s days.
But you don’t see that
you just see seeds in the sand
of the long lonely night.

Maybe It’s More Than All That

maybe life is a big joke and we’re the punchline or maybe its just an accident i don’t pretend to know – all i want out of it is to be happy – something inside me says that this is all we’ve got and its up to us to make it something worth having – we waste so much time leading up to things and we never quite get to them – we build tension but never crescendo –  we spend hours preparing and die looking in the mirror – we will never feel ready we will never be fully prepared – life happens while you sleep and while you think and while you wait – you have a collection of days and that is it – each day wasted is a day you’ll never have back its a day you missed a chance you didn’t take – another excuse atop the pile in the corner of your room – every hour is the only hour you will ever have – i cant bring myself to make decisions and stand by them – i waver – i make excuses look for signs and miracles – plead to anyone else just so that i’m not alone in being me – so that i’m not the one responsible for my choices – someone else to blame –  there isn’t going to be anyone else to blame when i die in relatively the same condition and situation that i’m in now – write my epitaph “He didn’t make it, but it was easier that way” –  ‘here goes nothing’ has never been more true.

She Isn’t Scared

You found somewhere that scared you.

Because when the fear runs out
its time to move on.

But fear is the currency of the courageous
and the fuel to survive.

You will never be mediocre
if you are always scared for your life
and you will never be more alive
then when you’re struggling to survive.

When your life flashes before your eyes
you won’t mind
to watch it all again.