We Spend Our Time, Leaving it Behind

January 15, 2017

“I must think of it constantly in order to take care not to think of it. In this connection it must be understood not only that I must of necessity perpetually carry within me what I wish to flee but also that I must aim at the object of my flight in order to flee it… Thus anguish, properly speaking, can be neither hidden nor avoided.”

From Being and Nothingness by Jean Paul Sartre translated by Hazel E. Barnes

We are a potential energy
dancing between poles,
We are a dammed river
raging.

We are that little god inside me
forced to possess my freedom,
We are a simple question
waiting.

We are a always facing one other
and are never speaking,
We are pressing need
aching.

We are love and we are also not
so I keep on dreaming,
We are always sleeping —
being.

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Life Is Terrifying but We Don’t Know Any Better

January 13, 2017

I am circumspect –
it’s not the first time it’s happened
since I left your bed,
and it’s been a long ten years
since I left it.

I can handle this –
picking up my pieces every once in a while,
but this is getting
out of
hand.

We don’t have to be alone.
We don’t have to be together.
We don’t have to be alone.
Because we don’t have to be anything.

This is all it takes –
one smile one kiss and I just release
then watch myself dissolve,
into
nothing.

I’ll get over it –
I repeat to myself religiously,
before I take another
drink
and another.

We don’t have to get along.
We don’t have to play the part.
We don’t have move on.
Because we don’t have to do anything.

It takes everything we have —
Everything we have
To choose.


Ionized

November 26, 2016

from the stoic advances
of an ignorant boy
to the knowing glances
of a half-tamed lover


Only So

October 13, 2016

We remember
together
when we were
together,
But we
leave it
only so.


Before I Board the Train

June 14, 2014

 

You covered me with kisses
as I unfolded you,
your crushed rib cage
and deflated lungs
wrapped around your heart.

I never knew you to be so fragile
always dancing
always singing.
Always wondering how
and never why.

You covered me in kisses
as I sewed you closed,
suture after suture
you broke.
Layer over layer
you curled

like your hair after the rain.
Before I boarded the train

you covered me in kisses,
as we said goodbye
one final time
your arms behind you
and tears in you eyes.

“I am going back now,”
I said,
But you were already gone.


Water Under the Bridge

November 10, 2013

Your naked body
is pressed against mine.
There is no passion here
nothing to complicate.
I know that we’re broken
that’s no revelation
but at least we’ve opened
communication.
And so we’ll sink into the water going by.

We burned all our idols
with our ships at the shoreline.
We’d be headed to closure
if we actually cared enough to change.
But we’re cynical.
And skeptical.
That if we build a bridge
eventually we’d just burn it down
And sink into the water going by.


One Hundred Dollars

August 29, 2013

I work dead end jobs
Because I’m dead-end material.

I saved for three months.
I saved $100 dollars.

But that’s ok
She won’t let me be in love with her
anyway.