We Spend Our Time, Leaving it Behind

January 15, 2017

“I must think of it constantly in order to take care not to think of it. In this connection it must be understood not only that I must of necessity perpetually carry within me what I wish to flee but also that I must aim at the object of my flight in order to flee it… Thus anguish, properly speaking, can be neither hidden nor avoided.”

From Being and Nothingness by Jean Paul Sartre translated by Hazel E. Barnes

We are a potential energy
dancing between poles,
We are a dammed river
raging.

We are that little god inside me
forced to possess my freedom,
We are a simple question
waiting.

We are a always facing one other
and are never speaking,
We are pressing need
aching.

We are love and we are also not
so I keep on dreaming,
We are always sleeping —
being.

Advertisements

Life Is Terrifying but We Don’t Know Any Better

January 13, 2017

I am circumspect –
it’s not the first time it’s happened
since I left your bed,
and it’s been a long ten years
since I left it.

I can handle this –
picking up my pieces every once in a while,
but this is getting
out of
hand.

We don’t have to be alone.
We don’t have to be together.
We don’t have to be alone.
Because we don’t have to be anything.

This is all it takes –
one smile one kiss and I just release
then watch myself dissolve,
into
nothing.

I’ll get over it –
I repeat to myself religiously,
before I take another
drink
and another.

We don’t have to get along.
We don’t have to play the part.
We don’t have move on.
Because we don’t have to do anything.

It takes everything we have —
Everything we have
To choose.


Heart Full of Bees

November 29, 2016

Its easy to romanticize bees,
When they dance
Instead of speak,

Its easy to romanticize bees,
As they obey their
Queen’s every whim,

Its easy to romanticize bees,
Atop their mountain
Flowers,

Its easy to romanticize bees,
Because
Your heart is full of them.


Before I Board the Train

June 14, 2014

 

You covered me with kisses
as I unfolded you,
your crushed rib cage
and deflated lungs
wrapped around your heart.

I never knew you to be so fragile
always dancing
always singing.
Always wondering how
and never why.

You covered me in kisses
as I sewed you closed,
suture after suture
you broke.
Layer over layer
you curled

like your hair after the rain.
Before I boarded the train

you covered me in kisses,
as we said goodbye
one final time
your arms behind you
and tears in you eyes.

“I am going back now,”
I said,
But you were already gone.


Water Under the Bridge

November 10, 2013

Your naked body
is pressed against mine.
There is no passion here
nothing to complicate.
I know that we’re broken
that’s no revelation
but at least we’ve opened
communication.
And so we’ll sink into the water going by.

We burned all our idols
with our ships at the shoreline.
We’d be headed to closure
if we actually cared enough to change.
But we’re cynical.
And skeptical.
That if we build a bridge
eventually we’d just burn it down
And sink into the water going by.


November 7, 2013

Love is just
that thing you do
between
moans.


With Indifference to Everyone But Me

October 4, 2013

I want a girl who gets pissed off.

I want a girl who swears,
But swears never to do so in front of my mom.
I want a girl that knows what she wants.
Who can look me in the eye and say,
“No, you’re wrong.”

I want a girl that knows when to lie,
How to lie,
And never has to lie to me.

I want a girl that scares me,
Bears me,
and wears me out.

I want a girl who’s clean.
I want a girl dirtier than me,
Privately obscene.

I want a girl who knows who Charlemagne was
and doesn’t need a dictionary to spell.

I want a girl that doesn’t depend on me
To depend on her.

I want a girl who doesn’t believe in me.
Isn’t obsessed with me
and doesn’t need me around.

But she wants me around.

She doesn’t watch TV
but doesn’t complain about people who do.
She reads. Doesn’t care if you don’t.

I want a girl who eats when she’s hungry
and feeds me sometimes, too.

I want a girl who knows she’s a woman
and knows who that woman is.
She is confident, not arrogant.
Careful, not afraid.
Efficient, not fast.
Beautiful, not hot.
(She would also accept:
Gorgeous.
Magnificent,
Classy,
Alluring,
Elegant, or
Lovely.)

I want a girl who knows her value
and won’t sell herself short
but she isn’t rude about it.
Knows her place
But knows she doesn’t have to stay there.

I want a girl who thinks outside the box.
Namely: by not using phrases like, “Think outside the box.”

I want a clever girl.
And she gets the reference.
She cherishes irreverence.
And she goes about her day
with indifference
to everyone but me.

I want a girl who gets caught in daydreams.
She talks to herself sometimes
because she has an imagination
and isn’t ashamed of it.
She has a conscience
but isn’t afraid of it.

She’d be at home on a greyhound bus
or living out of a suitcase.

I want a girl that doesn’t believe in romance
but enjoys the gimmick.

I want a girl that can defrag a hard drive
I want a girl that can keep her plants alive.

Maybe one that’s sexy in scrubs
Gentle and tough.

I don’t want her to change for me,
Because she’s already honest and upfront.
She doesn’t take my shit.
But she doesn’t mind
putting up with it.