Before I Board the Train

June 14, 2014

 

You covered me with kisses
as I unfolded you,
your crushed rib cage
and deflated lungs
wrapped around your heart.

I never knew you to be so fragile
always dancing
always singing.
Always wondering how
and never why.

You covered me in kisses
as I sewed you closed,
suture after suture
you broke.
Layer over layer
you curled

like your hair after the rain.
Before I boarded the train

you covered me in kisses,
as we said goodbye
one final time
your arms behind you
and tears in you eyes.

“I am going back now,”
I said,
But you were already gone.


Water Under the Bridge

November 10, 2013

Your naked body
is pressed against mine.
There is no passion here
nothing to complicate.
I know that we’re broken
that’s no revelation
but at least we’ve opened
communication.
And so we’ll sink into the water going by.

We burned all our idols
with our ships at the shoreline.
We’d be headed to closure
if we actually cared enough to change.
But we’re cynical.
And skeptical.
That if we build a bridge
eventually we’d just burn it down
And sink into the water going by.


Another Thursday Down (Twenty-nine)

October 4, 2013

Just another day 
I didn’t celebrate.
Waking up before dawn
and back to bed before ten,
I am up before dawn
again.

Another year older, they’ll say
and I’ve said it too,
But every day is an anniversary
of a day you’ll never get back.
For better, or worse.

This is just the passing
Of another pile of mediocre beginnings
and stale half-endings.

The half-hearted hello’s — 
The digitally-reminded ones.
And the silent goodbyes — 
The never-followed-through-with ones.

This is just my body taking a step
further down the road of deterioration.
This is just my number going up.

This is a day I pretend everyone cares about
except me.
But really,
This is a day no one cares about
But me.


A Girl I Used to Know

August 30, 2013

Once I had a lesson
from a girl I used to know,
She said, “Boy, you’d best not be messin’
with the things that you don’t know
about,

Like girls and boys and loving
when the summer is still young,
because we both know that fall is coming
and we won’t dare say it
aloud.”

We’re scared of what it means.
Scared of what we’d bring to the table
that’s set for two, but
There’s only one tonight.

So I level with the waiter
saying, “Leave the plate and cup
I don’t know if company’s comin’
but my heart says don’t give up
on it.

Every thing I wait for
seems to take a while
so I’ll just sit here at the table
and drink away the miles
tonight.”


Silly Me

August 25, 2013

Seems like we were lovers forever
Just a few weeks ago.
But really it was only for a few weeks
Forever ago.


oh six, oh seven

August 15, 2013

Words.
We’ve always had words,
I’ve always had words
I’ve always tried to have words.
I try too hard.
I say things.
I say things I didn’t think through —
Gut reactions.
Trying to sound like I’ve got it all figured out.
Trying to say the sentence that will fix.
Everything.

There is no fixing anything.

There is no healing,
There is no moving on.
There is no thing.
No. Thing.

Past, Present.
Here. There.
You. Me.
No. Thing.

I swallow hard.
I breathe deep.
I sleep.
I drink.
I remember.

No. Thing.

It can’t be this easy,
When its this hard.

seven years.

oh six, oh seven.

A few months.

Catalyst, cataclysm.

I still write about it.
I still dream about it.
I still wonder if you write about it.
Dream about it.

I change the subject.

No. Thing.

 


Familiar

July 18, 2012

You remind me of
someone 
I wish I never
was.